Saturday, March 07, 2009

Movies to watch before you die

Well, it's that seasoning of the year again, and who are we to deny ourself the urge to move fiction away from the first spot (it detracts from the tone of the blog, don't you know) On this note, we present to you some classic movies whose enjoyment is best gotten over with before you complete your transition into decaying organic matter.




  • Gooch Gooch Hota Hai

    After Hum Aapke Hain Khan - an existential subjectivist look at the difficulties of being film-stars in modern India - bombed at the box office, the director decided to go back to Objectivism. With backing from the Bwrdd Criced Cymru a Lloegr, this movie tells of one man on his way to captaining the English cricket team, and in passing proves the Zeroth Rand Axiom, that, indeed, א is א and therefore only Gooch can be Gooch.




  • Show Leh

    In the heights of the upper Himalayas, two lonely young men run into a colony of monks terrorised by the legendary Yeti. Their efforts to free this community embroil them deeper in their quest to turn the monster into a waiter who says: "are o, sambaar"



  • Calypso Now

    A young and earnest musician paddles up the river of life looking for a legendary master of song, and shows vignettes of the life he could have had if he had used a search engine before plunging into his task. Featuring scenes that caused PETA to ask Eva Mendes to shed clothes even faster, this movie was re-released after strict sound editing as: "Calypso: Now Reduced!".



  • Mongol, paan de!

    Once upon a time in Central Asia, there was this boy who swallowed a stopwatch, and was henceforth known as Timer the Lung. This movie chronicles his journey from Gujarat to Bengal in search of ingredients to make the perfect digestif that would mould his warriors into an invincible fighting machine his descendants would use to conquer the world. Followed by the award-winning "Paan's Labyrinth", this movie marks the start of a series that did its best to paint the town walls red.



  • Tory Zameen Par

    Tracing the evolution of a young Breton, from in impressionable backbencher who falls into scandal, to a respected demagogue and feared political opponent who leads his country into the new world order, while expiating for crimes committed through omission when he was young.



  • Le Daal se Vitamin

    In a top-secret research lab for a major agricultural company, a previously nondescript researcher discovers an answer to the world's hunger problem. But is this really what his organisation wants? Intrigue, suspense, murder and deceit follow him as he fights to present his discovery to the world for peer review.



  • Bhais Don't Cry

    After the success of a number of movies about the underworld, this one chronicles the rise of a new don as she hides her identity from everyone as she climbs her way up the ladder of crime to sit at the top of the deadliest mafia in the world, and the her fall as her real identity: a top police spy, is discovered.



  • Citizen Khan

    When you're the first citizen of a small sparkly town, none of your actions go unremarked, and a good number of them will be slavishly imitated by your fans. In this situation, how does one go about leading a normal life? Sometimes, the answer is to do the right thing, always.



  • Braids on the River Qua

    Long-haired rats are an endangered species, because their hair can be woven into cloth with amazing properties. One such rat rebels against having a haircut, and sails away to the sea, it hair growing longer by the day, until it reaches the beaches where it is promptly mistaken for a carpet.



  • Tray

    When young Paris steals away with a prized tray belonging to the neighbouring gang leader, the leader promptly marches up to his home to take it back, whereupon a pitched battle ensues with the leader finally gaining access to Paris through trickery and guile. However, even if he gets the tray, can he make it back to his hideout?



  • Devi Does Dalhousie

    After a discussion of whether Yandaboo is spelled with one 'o' or two, a young princess discovers that she may have misunderstood the intent and meaning of the Doctrine of Laps while trying to regain her rightful throne.



  • Garam Beer

    Two brothers, separated at birth, do their best to find each other over vast regions of space and time. United by their hatred of warm beverages, they fight against the evil Refrigemonster who has reversed the Second Law of Thermodynamics, making it impossible to get a cool drink at the local bar.



  • Armour Akhbaar Antimony

    Modern soldiers require protection, the daily news, and poisonous metals to fight. Will three brothers, each of whom has received a piece of the puzzle from their parents, be able to unite in time to outfit their army for war?



  • Rogue On

    After a 'job' goes wrong with deadly consequences, a gang of master thieves breaks up, with each going their own way to spend the rest of their lives in relative peace and contentment. When one of them is overcome by a fit a nostalgia, can he convince the rest to join him for one last caper?



  • Bread Eater

    When a legion of elite soldiers ventures into deepest jungle to rescue some of their own, they run into a strange alien life form that eats all their bread, leaving them only cake. Will they prevail against this monster bent upon destroying their way of life?


Monday, March 02, 2009

Strangers in the Night

His Story

"Strangers in the night", Frank Sinatra was crooning. He never understood her fascination with the song, but over time had learnt to appreciate it. They were just about finished with their first glass of wine, at the Cafe Coffee Day next to the International Airport. They were celebrating the 10 years that they had been together.

"Hey weren't you guys at IITM ?" Thick glasses, blue-eyed, long hair tied in a pony tail and a stubble at least six months old seemed vaguely familiar. There seemed to be a scar that started somewhere on his left cheekbone buried under all that facial hair and which seemed to end somewhere below his left ear.

"Yes we were, I am Jai and this here is...."

"Geeta I guess" pony tail chirped.

"Yes I am Geeta" she said with an uneasy edge to her voice. He knew that IIT girls being the rarity they were on campus pretty much everyone remembered her.

"Well I am a couple of years junior to you guys, John do you guys remember ?"

"Aah yes Johnnie "keep walking" Walker right" A nick acquired due to John's typically being found in drunken stupor more often than not.

"Yup, I remember bowling to you and Vijay at IITM"

Out of the corner of his eye he could see Geeta pursing her lips. Vijay was literally the blue eyed boy of his batch. A Comp Sci student, was in the top half of his class but you would rarely find him mugging. A Mardi Gras P-team member, hostel band's vocalist he was also one of the most stylish batsmen of his hostel who batted like a millionaire meant that whenever John was sober he would throw his wicket away. Plus he had that rarest of things at IIT, a girlfriend.

"Yup you really did have Vijay's number I remember, never prepared to ground it out....well what can you say to the style merchants"

"And I don't think you scored too many off me either, I knew your correct batting would always mean that I could bowl to my field"

His time at IIT was a big contrast to Vijay's. He belonged to the "fighter" class rather than the "stud" class. He studied very hard to reach the top of his class and his batting much like everything else about him was a very studied perfected technique. He was no big shot at Mardi Gras nor was he good at any other extra academic stuff, he could not strut a guitar and shout "Born in the USA" or go around in a false accent shouting "rock is dead". In an institution where a lot of emphasis was placed on doing things without appearing to put in any kind of effort he was not exactly very popular except during exam times. People tolerated him because of that. But then he was a stud in one field and it was that he could keep drinking till even the last person in his group gave up. He never could figure out why he never got drunk like everyone else, the more he drank the only feeling he seemed to have was a kind of fury at the world, a dull throbbing pain in his temples. But he rarely gave voice to it and would keep drinking.

"Jai stop being all nostalgic about your cricket memories, John join us in the celebrations, we are celebrating our 10th anniversary"

"Ah and we are to be having wine I see. The new policy of the government regarding wine licenses is cool."

Another glass was called for and the wine was poured out in the correct manner by Jai.

"Cheers" as the three glasses clinked, "To you guys" John said.

"So Jai what are you up to these days ?" John asked

"Well I always realised I was not really cut out for an engineering job so passed out and did an MBA at IIMA. Now work for Barclay's at London"

He realised that he had done exactly what most of his friends at IIT did, an engineering optimisation problem of making the most money in the least possible time. Was very successful at his job too, but there was always an inner voice that kept telling him that this was not what he had dreamed of all those years back. And these days the inner voice seemed to irritate him all the more and far too frequently for it to be called an irritation.

"Whoa man that must be interesting!! And what are you up to Geeta"

"Oh I have given up my job, keep myself busy by trying to paint mostly"

"Any idea what happened to Vijay ?"

"Well he passed out of IIT, had this fantastic idea that he wanted to be a writer but never did amount to much"

"Ah after my own heart then, I am also a writer you see."

"Oh what do you write ?" Geeta asked

"Nothing path-breaking, right now writing some technical manuals to make ends meet. The idea being that this kind of free lancing work is temporary and with all the free time that I have, I should eventually get down to writing a novel" John said.

"Oh I see" there was a disappointed note in her voice.

"Anyway guys all the best to your future, I have a flight to catch now"

And he left them and walked out of the cafe. Jai envied everything about John, the ease with which he had come over to the table and talked to them, the apparently effortless small talk he made. He himself would have walked out of a cafe if he had to confront people from his past whom he did not know too well. He remembered what Vijay had told him long ago at IIT after getting drunk "Man you are born with style, there is no way it can be taught, not to you".

Her Story

There was the usual music that played at most coffee shops that was playing that night. Ten years since she had been with Jai. Ten years since she had bet on safety.

"Hey weren't you guys at IITM ?" For a moment she thought, but no it just cannot be. The first few years had been great, they had travelled all over the world, seen all the places she had wanted to see.

"Yes we were, I am Jai and this here is...."

"Geeta I guess"

"Yes I am Geeta" Being a girl, an attractive one at that at IIT meant that everyone three batches junior and senior knew you.

"Well I am a couple of years junior to you guys, John do you guys remember ?"

Jai and John seemed to get lost in their cricket reverie. She did not particularly like cricket. She knew that whenever Vijay lost a match he would be irritable the whole night and that the whole evening of hers would be spoilt listening to the ravings of Vijay on what so-and-so ought to have done.

"Jai stop being all nostalgic about your cricket memories, John join us in the celebrations, we are celebrating our 10th anniversary"

"Ah and we are to be having wine I see. The new policy of the government regarding wine licenses is cool."

Another glass was called for and she could even with her eyes closed imagine exactly how Jai would pour the wine out.

"Cheers" as the three glasses clinked, "To you guys" John said.

"So Jai what are you up to these days ?" John asked

"Well I always realised I was not really cut out for an engineering job so passed out and did an MBA at IIMA. Now work for Barclay's at London" This is why she thought she had chosen him, someone who had mapped out his future like all the road trips that they had been together on. Unlike someone whose life seemed to like the innumerable paper boats set to sail in rainwater puddles, taking a course that was so random that one eventually got trampled upon.

"Whoa man that must be interesting!! And what are you up to Geeta"

"Oh I have given up my job, keep myself busy by trying to paint mostly"

"Any idea what happened to Vijay ?"

"Well he passed out of IIT, had this fantastic idea that he wanted to be a writer but never did amount to much" She remembered this same day ten years back. The writing thing for Vijay was not working out too well, Jai meanwhile was having great success as a banker. Today was the day that she told Vijay about Jai.

"Ah after my own heart then, I am also a writer you see."

"Oh what do you write ?" Geeta asked. She had come to see Jai off at the airport and he had proposed to her.

"Nothing path-breaking, right now writing some technical manuals to make ends meet. The idea being that this kind of free lancing work is temporary and with all the free time that I have, I should eventually get down to writing a novel"

"Oh I see" Which was her first awkward response then as well to Jai.

"Anyway guys all the best to your future, I have a flight to catch now"

It stuck her then that she would trade a lot to be liker her husband, always in control. Always knowing what you need and knowing exactly what is needed to achieve those goals.

The third story

Frank Sinatra's exquisite voice sounded over the background "Strangers in the night". Ten years was a long time, but if he knew Jai he knew that he could not resist it and would be here. He was right. As in batting so in life.

"Hey weren't you guys at IITM ?"

"Yes we were, I am Jai and this here is...."

"Geeta I guess" He still loved the way the name rolled off his tongue.

"Yes I am Geeta" and he knew that she was adopting the voice that she used with most IIT guys. If anything she seemed more desirable than she ever was at IIT.

"Well I am a couple of years junior to you guys, John do you guys remember ?" The subterfuge came naturally to him

"Aah yes Johnnie "keep walking" Walker right"

"Yup, I remember bowling to you and Vijay at IITM"

"Yup you really did have Vijay's number I remember, never prepared to ground it out....well what can you say to the style merchants"

Maybe Jai was right after all. He always thought that being a writer meant a bohemian lifestyle. Like everything else at IIT he thought writing success too would come easily to him. Maybe he really ought to grind it out, put in those hours of sweat that he had for the JEE towards his novel as well.

"And I don't think you scored too many off me either, I knew your correct batting would always mean that I could bowl to my field"

He never really understood why he had almost always wanted to put Jai down, both here and at IIT.

"Jai stop being all nostalgic about your cricket memories, John join us in the celebrations, we are celebrating our 10th anniversary"

"Ah and we are to be having wine I see. The new policy of the government regarding wine licenses is cool."

Another glass was called for.

"Cheers" as the three glasses clinked, "To you guys" John said.

"So Jai what are you up to these days ?" John asked

"Well I always realised I was not really cut out for an engineering job so passed out and did an MBA at IIMA. Now work for Barclay's at London"

And the memory of a frustrated James Stewart kicking his car in A Wonderful Life came to mind.

"Whoa man that must be interesting!! And what are you up to Geeta"

"Oh I have given up my job, keep myself busy by trying to paint mostly"

"Any idea what happened to Vijay ?"

"Well he passed out of IIT, had this fantastic idea that he wanted to be a writer but never did amount to much"

But then again those are the problems when one belongs to the stud class at IIT, the expectations are almost always sky high.

"Ah after my own heart then, I am also a writer you see."

"Oh what do you write ?" Geeta asked

"Nothing path-breaking, right now writing some technical manuals to make ends meet. The idea being that this kind of free lancing work is temporary and with all the free time that I have, I should eventually get down to writing a novel" John said.

"Oh I see" he could figure out that she was lost in thought and maybe had overstayed his welcome.

"Anyway guys all the best to your future, I have a flight to catch now"

Walking out he thought that Geeta probably led the best life of them. Married to someone rich enough to take care of all material comforts and so afforded her the time to follow her hobbies. On the ride back home he slept on the bus and dreamt of marrying a rich heiress and writing books just for the joy of it.