Monday, March 17, 2008

The three (or so) laws of Frustodynamics

Dedication: To the unknown soldiers of HogUARTS.

To keep in line with the Fravian definition[1] of a blog, we provide below random crap for your amusement.

Once upon a time, in a far-off university called HogUARTS (there exist many other possibly valid names for this place, but we prefer this for what ought to be obvious reasons) there came into being a concept. This was called, for want of a clever acronym, frustness. We leave it to your imagination to deduce the proper state of mind required to conjure up such a concept, and merely remark in passing that while certain other not-quite-"first"-rate institutions may lay claim on the concept, it is to be found in its purest form in exactly one place in the universe.

We elide an explanation of this concept, since it is as much of an in-joke as "Vladimir Vapnik, Cosmic Conqueror".

Much time passed after the above earth-shaking paradigm shift (not to be confused with per diem) occurred, there occurred much research into this concept, whose results we present you (having plagiarised from like-mindless people) below:

The laws of frustness:


  1. Zeroth law: The law of pseudomathematical equality

    This really requires a pretty diagram to illustrate effectively, but we make do, and state:

    "if A is as frust as B, and B is as frust as C, then A is as frust as C".

    Roughly paraphrased, this states that equal amounts of frustness do not usually result in noteworthy incidents, but in the event that there is a significant discrepancy in the quantaamounts of frustness, an equalisation process occurs. For example, if individual A was frust, and B was not, prolonged (or in some cases, instantaneous) contact usually results in B becoming at least as frust as A. The second law usually applies in such matters, though...

  2. First law: The law of conservation

    "The total frustness of the universe remains constant"

    Unfortunately, this says nothing whatsoever of the actual distribution or evolution over time of frustness, and neither does it provide any constructive method of determining said distribution. It therefore suffices to say that if you're reading this, you are a local maxima of the distribution. Cautious application of the first law usually results in your reaching the global maximum. This explains why people of similar frustness levels tend to congregate, as might be proved by your favourite local Orkut groups. Note, however, that the constancy over the universe implies that there exists at least one recycler of frustness somewhere in the universe under consideration.

  3. Second law: The law of entropyincrease

    "The frustness of an isolated system increases with time."

    Usually used to determine the direction of the arrow of time, this very useful law serves as an explanation of why things are as they are, particularly since it applies, through some oversight, to systems that are not isolated, too.

  4. Third law: Asymptotic (un)stability

    "Frustness can tend to, but never reach, zero."

    Since it is far more likely to go in the opposite direction, this law might seem redundant. It's most useful function, however, is both as a reminder that there is a minimum, and that you can't quite achieve it no matter how hard you try.



Examples of the last two laws are left as an exercise to the reader, rather like this review does.


Disclaimer: No claim whatsoever of originality is made, indeed, it would surprise us if we were involved in this particular formulation of the above laws, since they quite likely date from the time Maxwell's demon's memory overflowed, or even the Carnotaurus.

[1] A blog is...[2]

 The most over-rated nonsense on the internet. It's essentially someone's rambling, online diary, that links to real sites in order to pretend that there is actual content, (other than the self-absorbed, indulgent crap that makes up most of it).

[2] Our clarification: Anything whose title is a permutation of "random [verb] [proposition] [article] [adjective] [noun]". Note that only the word "random" is not negotiable.



PS: It turns out that this marks a century. How appropriate.

Thursday, March 13, 2008

Beatles - And Your Bird Can Sing

Came across this. So decided since we did not have anything blog worthy we might as well do the lazy thing.

The rules are:

1. Put your MP3 player/Media player on shuffle
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. You must write the name of the song no matter what.

IF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OKAY?" YOU SAY?
Metallica (Kirk Hammet) - One

Ye Kaisa Jawaab Hua

WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?
Queen (Brian May) - Brighton Rock

Though TAM might say &^@#%@^% Rock

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
Smashing Pumpkins - Geek USA

Puhlezzzz

HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
Ozzy Osbourne - Crazy Train

Finally we get to show off our Scrabble Lingo --- BINGO

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE’S PURPOSE?
Metallica (Kirk Hammet) - Fade To Black

DOUBLE BINGO!!!!!!!

WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
Pink Floyd - Money

Aha

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
Jimi Hendrix - All Along The Watchtower

Now we are TALKING

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR PARENTS?
Eric Clapton and Allman Brothers - Layla

Ahem

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
Eric Johnson - Cliffs Of Dover

Yeah RIGHT

WHAT IS 2+2?
Led Zeppelin - Stairway To Heaven

Absolutely right 4 is the Stairway to Heaven or for rather large values of 2 it is 5.

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
Eagles - Hotel California

Not unless it is the Mallu version :)

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Jimmy Hendrix - Purple Haze

YOU BET WE DO

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
Pearl Jam - Alive

And we do it again BINGO............

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
Eric Clapton - Cocaine

Rather than becoming can we sort of become a user

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Sublime - Santaria

We would prefer the former.

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
Pantera - Cemetary Gates

No surprise to the zero readership of this blog.

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
Stevie Ray Vaughan - Texas Flood

Rather interesting sight that would be or on second thoughts maybe not.

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
Jimi Hendrix - Little Wing

Ok no smart comments come to mind.

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
Black Sabbath - War Pigs

For some reason this leads us to think of a random Forsyth novel.

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
Rolling Stones - Sympathy For The Devil

Oh yeah absolutely

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
Phish - Stash

Phishing is of course a hobby of some of my friends I would like to think. Sadly like Hobbes these are also just thoughts.

WHAT SHOULD YOU POST THIS AS?
Beatles - And Your Bird Can Sing

How apt :-)

Thursday, March 06, 2008

Superman tripping on capes

Came across this excellent article on Federers dip in form in 2008 so far. Do read it, fascinating writing because of which we are still great fans of The Hindu.

In other news The Alternate Mobyeus has been to the Hard Rock Cafe in Bengalooru and went absolutely frusth there after having to look at Madonna next to Clapton.