I Nightwatchmen dont believe I am doing this (shamelessly inspired from this). Reviewing a movie filled with so much stupidity that it does not deserve a review, but then again I dont do too many things I believe in.
Basically think of the director as a IIT-ian who like all male IIT-ians is totally deprived of any sort of female company for 4 years when his hormones were in over drive. Now he wanted to make a porn movie but then he realised to get into Page 3 you needed to do something else (no puns intended). So then he wields the camera and derives vicarious pleasure(s) by making actors and actresses play out what he would have been fantasising about when he was in a class of Applied Geology on Friday afternoons in the sweltering heat of April.
1. As one of the guys on the board who screws his underling and gives her a "out of turn" promotion.
2. As the chairman of a big company who has a news reporter for confidante who arranges for young nubile nymphomaniacs for him. (Just to releive his guilt he calls the confidante a "bloody pimp" sometime in the movie when I was not muttering "what the f**k is going on ?").
3. As the COO of the rival company who keeps giving lecherous glances at anything that has a hole and moves.
4. As the finance minister of the state who gets to screw the top notch(all the notches were really at the top) item girl. (By the way please if the item number bandi does have weight in all the wrong places it is not the best thing to make her bend and film her in profile, it sort of shows that gravity actually exists....)
5. Again as the COO of the rival company who is first seduced by the bong COO(bherry bherry komplikated name) of the rival company only to refuse to sleep with him but in the process causing a spurt in his testosterone generation. Later on going to a disco and finding a model with big whatever (surely not brains) who literally performs lots of jobs and once our COO is asleep only to see the bong COO back, use a USB to download data from the hard drive of his laptop (this is getting dirtier and dirtier) which shows all the promos of the latest ad campaign to be run by his company. Passwords anyone ??
6. And then of course how can I forget the loser of the world who screws the heroine only to jump off a building and die and leave the heroine all alone with his kid.
There are 2 good things to look out for
1. Designer shades of the heroine (and no there are no shades of grey here)
2. Her designer watches, absolutely fabulous.
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3 comments:
In all my years of the despondency and the futility of surfing the net, never have I come across a review as sublime or as evocative as this gem. I daresay that this might very well be your 281. Although I do hope that, unlike that gentleman, this sets you up for 401. If I had my way, on the basis of this post alone, you would sit pretty at top of the blogosphere as the undisputed numero uno.
Perfection! Thy name is Nightwatchmen!
What memorable lines! Blogger extraordinaire!
but then again I dont do too many things I believe in - the brutal in-your-face honesty
as a IIT-ian who like all male IIT-ians is totally deprived of any sort of female company for 4 years when his hormones were in over drive - excellente! magnifique! tres bien! the pain, the suffering of four long years expressed in a simple yet elegant statement
what he would have been fantasising about when he was in a class of Applied Geology on Friday afternoons in the sweltering heat of April - the power of dreams which can transform a phlegmatic geology class into a vivid phantasm of forbidden pleasures
if the item number bandi does have weight in all the wrong places it is not the best thing to make her bend and film her in profile, it sort of shows that gravity actually exists - newton himself could not have said it better. i can visualise the force of gravity, acting selectively, on conical entities, transforming them spherically in the process.
As the COO of the rival company who keeps giving lecherous glances at anything that has a hole and moves. you outdo yourself! (stands on the bench and claps)
to refuse to sleep with him but in the process causing a spurt in his testosterone generation bringing the very sentences to life! your review caused a spurt in my testosterone generation. seriously.
and hey, what a bitch that bong was. bitch.
Later on going to a disco and finding a model with big whatever (surely not brains) who literally performs lots of jobs wow! wow! wowieeeeee!!! such moving description of so poignant an event. astounding!
words fail me man. this is you-know-which-part-of-me speaking. out of this world. right out of this world.
Reviewing a movie filled with so much stupidity that it does not deserve a review, but then again I dont do too many things I believe in.
Ah. What we believe in and what we do are seldome the same. The last time I did something I believed in was in KGP. Since then, I have mostly done things my manager believes in.
Now he wanted to make a porn movie but then he realised to get into Page 3 you needed to do something else (no puns intended).
Are you sure you don't intend any, any at all!!!
who screws his underling
Curious, who's the guy? KK Menon? Again, I digress, but what's an underling. Somehow the word sounds extremely vulgar
As the COO of the rival company who keeps giving lecherous glances at anything that has a hole and moves.
Now this is a brilliant comment, which deserves immortality.
I somehow couldn't manage this weekend to the movies as well - one of the band-members fell ill and we were busy taking him to the hospital, etc. And then of course, I was too lazy as well.
Next chapter complete: http://nonsense-stories.blogspot.com
I was wondering, is it better for the chapters to be in ascending or descending order. Need a second opinion on that...
@Mentalbaba : thankoo thankoo. Though the Applied Geology classes me never took, I was thinkin about the frusthest of the froosth.
@Sheermelody : Underling -One of lesser rank or authority than another; a subordinate. Again no puns were intended here as well ;) Sadly your screwing part is wrong there was something about a loser there, that is the person you talk about.
@Ser Feenix : Its more fun watching Bollywood especially pretentious movies like the aforesaid ones where every actor has shades of grey (which I could not fathom since only person the CEO of the soft drink company had them on his hair) and the director talks about his experiences while making a previous movie that led him to make this one. (I think I am missing out on an S somewhere). Refer to last statment on my reply to Mental Baba.
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