Movies to watch before you die

Well, it's that seasoning of the year again, and who are we to deny ourself the urge to move fiction away from the first spot (it detracts from the tone of the blog, don't you know) On this note, we present to you some classic movies whose enjoyment is best gotten over with before you complete your transition into decaying organic matter.

• 
  Gooch Gooch Hota Hai
  
  After Hum Aapke Hain Khan - an existential subjectivist look at the difficulties of being film-stars in modern India - bombed at the box office, the director decided to go back to Objectivism. With backing from the Bwrdd Criced Cymru a Lloegr, this movie tells of one man on his way to captaining the English cricket team, and in passing proves the Zeroth Rand Axiom, that, indeed, א is א and therefore only Gooch can be Gooch.
  
  



• 
  Show Leh
  
  In the heights of the upper Himalayas, two lonely young men run into a colony of monks terrorised by the legendary Yeti. Their efforts to free this community embroil them deeper in their quest to turn the monster into a waiter who says: "are o, sambaar"
  



• 
  Calypso Now
  
  A young and earnest musician paddles up the river of life looking for a legendary master of song, and shows vignettes of the life he could have had if he had used a search engine before plunging into his task. Featuring scenes that caused PETA to ask Eva Mendes to shed clothes even faster, this movie was re-released after strict sound editing as: "Calypso: Now Reduced!".
  



• 
  Mongol, paan de!
  
  Once upon a time in Central Asia, there was this boy who swallowed a stopwatch, and was henceforth known as Timer the Lung. This movie chronicles his journey from Gujarat to Bengal in search of ingredients to make the perfect digestif that would mould his warriors into an invincible fighting machine his descendants would use to conquer the world. Followed by the award-winning "Paan's Labyrinth", this movie marks the start of a series that did its best to paint the town walls red.
  



• 
  Tory Zameen Par
  
  Tracing the evolution of a young Breton, from in impressionable backbencher who falls into scandal, to a respected demagogue and feared political opponent who leads his country into the new world order, while expiating for crimes committed through omission when he was young.
  



• 
  Le Daal se Vitamin
  
  In a top-secret research lab for a major agricultural company, a previously nondescript researcher discovers an answer to the world's hunger problem. But is this really what his organisation wants? Intrigue, suspense, murder and deceit follow him as he fights to present his discovery to the world for peer review.
  



• 
  Bhais Don't Cry
  
  After the success of a number of movies about the underworld, this one chronicles the rise of a new don as she hides her identity from everyone as she climbs her way up the ladder of crime to sit at the top of the deadliest mafia in the world, and the her fall as her real identity: a top police spy, is discovered.
  



• 
  Citizen Khan
  
  When you're the first citizen of a small sparkly town, none of your actions go unremarked, and a good number of them will be slavishly imitated by your fans. In this situation, how does one go about leading a normal life? Sometimes, the answer is to do the right thing, always.
  



• 
  Braids on the River Qua
  
  Long-haired rats are an endangered species, because their hair can be woven into cloth with amazing properties. One such rat rebels against having a haircut, and sails away to the sea, it hair growing longer by the day, until it reaches the beaches where it is promptly mistaken for a carpet.
  



• 
  Tray
  
  When young Paris steals away with a prized tray belonging to the neighbouring gang leader, the leader promptly marches up to his home to take it back, whereupon a pitched battle ensues with the leader finally gaining access to Paris through trickery and guile. However, even if he gets the tray, can he make it back to his hideout?
  



• 
  Devi Does Dalhousie
  
  After a discussion of whether Yandaboo is spelled with one 'o' or two, a young princess discovers that she may have misunderstood the intent and meaning of the Doctrine of Laps while trying to regain her rightful throne.
  



• 
  Garam Beer
  
  Two brothers, separated at birth, do their best to find each other over vast regions of space and time. United by their hatred of warm beverages, they fight against the evil Refrigemonster who has reversed the Second Law of Thermodynamics, making it impossible to get a cool drink at the local bar.
  



• 
  Armour Akhbaar Antimony
  
  Modern soldiers require protection, the daily news, and poisonous metals to fight. Will three brothers, each of whom has received a piece of the puzzle from their parents, be able to unite in time to outfit their army for war?
  



• 
  Rogue On
  
  After a 'job' goes wrong with deadly consequences, a gang of master thieves breaks up, with each going their own way to spend the rest of their lives in relative peace and contentment. When one of them is overcome by a fit a nostalgia, can he convince the rest to join him for one last caper?
  



• 
  Bread Eater
  
  When a legion of elite soldiers ventures into deepest jungle to rescue some of their own, they run into a strange alien life form that eats all their bread, leaving them only cake. Will they prevail against this monster bent upon destroying their way of life?