No Nana, No!

What can you possibly say about a movie where Priyanka Chopra crashing onscreen about three minutes into the end of the movie results in a theater that cheers?

'Taxi No' (as the movie was called rather prominently on one of this hellhole's less-worse theatres) or to give it its full name, "taxi numbah 9/11' is a dramatic vehicle for the exposition of the central theme of "never lie - you have to cook up too many excuses". Johnny Baba is a rich playboy, and some random female imitator plays his mercenary (and bloodthirsty) girlfriend. The next thing you know, Johnny baba injures his poor car on his way home. This paves the way for the entrance of:

Nana!

(Applause customarily given Capone-da on his on-screen entry may, without prejudice, be extended to Nana. He is the best actor this movie has. Which doesn't say much, I must admit.)

Nananono plays an "Insurance agent" who drives a taxi, driving an interesting class of customers, until he meets his match in Johnny Baba. Next follows a dizzying ride through the high- and low-spots of Mumbai (namely, the cophouses and courts) until the ending, which comes far too late to be of any use to the sanity of the audience (fair warning: sweet-tasting sugar substitute involved.)

The movie boasts a surprising number of twists and turns, which is a tribute to the farsighted and pragmatic designers who grew Mumbai from the swamps, and planted a local railway network since they felt the number of places to do battle properly were too less.

To continue a tradition of miseducation, here are the things that a not-so-average viewer[1] ought to take away from this movie:

• Kill off yourself, but ask permission before you kill anybody else
  
  
• Gain a fortune. Lose it. Gain it again. Congratulations! Your name is now SENSEX
  
  
• Taxi drivers drive at thrice their usual speed (i.e. 40km/h) if you pay them at the going rate of a rupee a metre
  
  
• While still on killing: when your victim looks like Nana the Pot, be careful: you're his victim.
  
  
• Invest in the automobile industry. Johnny Baba the penurious heir breaks atleast three cars, and still has more to run around with. (Which begs the question of why he got into a taxi in the first place, but then, I'm not all that curious to know.)
  
  

[1] Statistics: where normal is mean, and deviation standard.

PS: One year, 32 posts. Where does that leave people with a life?