Gulliver's Travels, Redux

Or: The One-sided guidebook to the lands of Polemica, Disinformatsya and Rhetorika

Or: How not to stab yourself in the face when you decide to inform the world that
some entity is mutant scum.

Originally inspired by some seriously brilliant writing on Ze Hindoo by an almost-spawned tadpole from Das Mutterland's least greatest Great Technical Institution, this turned into a reasonably good guideline for excitable authors. Kaaawya included.

Zo, liebchen: you haff decided dat I are evil? And you wish to proclaim this fact to the world? Here's how you do it:

• Grab attention. USE CAPITALS. Marx wrote Das Capital, a masterly exposition of this little-known emendation to fast leg theory (not to be confused with the long leg theory of, say, H.Klum[1].)



• Generalise. All generalisation is true, for some particular value of true. If nothing else, it will always confuse the issue



• Adjectives are your friend. When absolutely unnecessarily scatteredly used, analysis will definitely positively require more effort than the reader is prepared to give, thus making your statements true by default.



• Be sure of your facts. Then distort them.



• Innuendo is your friend. When used accurately, it is capable of a lot more damage than a list of long facts that no one reads anyway.



• 
  Conflation and elision are both very valuable tools. (Explanation elided, for various reasons rooted in laziness)
  



• 
  Volume overrules mass. The loudest idiot who shouts the longest is the most valuable supporter any team playing in the forthcoming vorld kup can ever have.
  



• 
  Sensation overrides substance.
  



• 
  Vox Populi always Whacks Dei.
  



• 
  Never underestimate the power of the majority, it can argue for you more coherently than you ever could.
  

Ze master, being Ze German, stated these points better. A link to him might just be included here, but you really should find him for yourself...

[1] I would be tempted to put in a google imagesearch here. Still, do it yourself.